Politely decline online dating

16 Nov

Unfortunately, it's a dynamic as old as time -- or at the very least, as old as Internet chat rooms.And anyone looking at Buzz Feed staff writer Grace Spelman's Twitter feed on Monday saw said dynamic play out as Spelman tweeted her unsolicited, increasingly hostile correspondence with former "Muggle Cast" host Ben Schoen."Blunt is not equal to mean."A standard, slightly gentler line.Think, "You're a nice guy, but I'm just not into you in that way." It's clear and not wishy-washy, but it's not quite as blunt as actually stating that you find him unattractive.So when women hear these (legitimate) complaints but then get shot down by guys because they initiated, what signal does that send them?A woman you turn down for a date, rightly or wrongly, will generally perceive your rejection as you just not being into her.A reader recently wrote to ask me if she should turn down a guy she thought was really great but wasn't physically attracted to, and if so, how should she do it without being too harsh?

for the past four years, and what follows are some recommendations that have worked for my friends and clients for giving the "let's just be friends" talk or declining unwanted advances from friends, suitors, and even current relationship partners. ”]Typical response 1: [radio silence]Typical response 2: “Uh, ok” [flakes out on date]Typical response 3: “Uh, ok” [miserable date experience]Recommended response: “Woah, hold up.But some guys may need a firmer response to get the message across.If you want to know how to reject a guy, here’s a list of things you can do to get the message across.Schoen initially tweeted at Spelman on August 5 after finding her Twitter feed funny.She "favorited" at least one of his tweets, but didn't respond.