Good clean jokes dating

14 Nov

He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. ' Mum, look what I found,' the boy called out. ' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, ' I think it's Adam's underwear! Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up.

What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. " The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatdoctors of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow." The last guy thinks a minute and replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say...

Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say?

At a wedding ceremony at which Father Brian Hamilton was officiating, he was seen to raise his hand in order to give the final blessing at the end of the service.

When the priest reached the inner sanctum he turned around, and was amazed to see the bride and groom crawling to the altar on their knees. Whatever the bride and groom's circumstances an MC (master of ceremonies) is sure to find a funny wedding speech joke here. 'Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married,' concludes Barry. ,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? 'Still sobbing, Elaine whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.' How even a nervous, first-time Wedding MC with no comedy experiencecan entertain and dazzle the wedding guests with 101 funny, clean, and 'field-tested' wedding jokes. Only .99 Molly and Peter have been married for almost 48 years and have raised a brood of 12 children and are blessed with 23 grandchildren. ' 'Well, let me see.' Vicky says, 'He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing.

'Darling,' says Barry to his wife, Sarah, 'I invited a friend home for supper.' 'What? ' Sarah splutters, 'The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't much feel like cooking a fancy meal.' 'I know all that,' murmurs Barry. Rupert and Elaine, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, Molly replies, 'Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.' While enjoying a lunchtime pint in a Newcastle pub in the Scotswood Road, four elderly Geordies* were discussing everything from football, the economy, to the weather, to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their wives. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don't go out.

' After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of water." Man: "Exactly what's my problem, doc?