Datingjewish

06 Oct

The ideas of having an engagement contract came from the Talmudic sages, dating back to the 3rd century.There is an idea that marrying without being engaged leads to the idea that one may have made a hasty decision and may not really be prepared for what is to come. And you showed someone that you liked them by asking them to be your date for the dance. Lo and behold, who should ask me, one earth-shatteringly exciting day, to be his date to the Saturday night dance? Breathlessly, I ran to my parents’ room and relayed the uber-exciting news. Because my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish man, I was only permitted to date Jewish boys. Mark Messner was “that guy” when I was in high school, back in the 1980’s. In my Jewish youth group, we had dances on Saturday nights. ” Now, there is one fact I have neglected to mention to you, my dear readers. His stepfather was Jewish, hence the Jewish name, hence his entre into the Jewish youth group, and hence the swooning Jewish girls.Also, if we leave our hair natural and you say it looks "frizzy" when it's actually just curly (there is a difference! A few weeks ago, Elite Daily brought you The 23 Qualities Your Jewish Husband Must Possess. While every man is presumably looking for different qualities in his wife, we possess outstanding ones that any sane man should want. Our ability to drive 4×4's and park them horrendously is commendable, and we're more than willing to hold charity events in our homes.Dear Lauren, I attend a public high school where boys and girls are mixed. As I was saying (try to ignore the annoying monkey images in your brain as you read the rest of this article), telling yourself “Don’t think about X. Don’t think about X…” will only make X annoyingly stuck in your brain. Whenever I need to have blood drawn, I have an entire elaborate thought plan I launch in my mind. Judging by the intermarriage rate today, I am grateful my parents set the ground rules when I was just starting to date. Or start a community service project for yourself; become a big sister, visit a residence for the elderly, volunteer at a soup kitchen…. We can feel attracted to someone we know is not good for us. And don’t worry, either: Mark Messner might have been a high-school heartthrob, but he doesn’t hold a candle to Rabbi Dr. I promise you there are better fish in the sea than “this guy.” Lauren Roth, MSW, LSW, is a graduate of Princeton University, a Marriage and Parenting Therapist in private practice in Lakewood, New Jersey, and an inspirational speaker across North America and on the high seas. There is this guy in one of my classes…when I first met him I only thought he was funny, but now I'm really starting to like him a lot, and feeling very attracted to him. If, in fact, you are obsessing over “this guy,” the only way to stop obsessive thoughts is to replace them with something else. Instead, replace the obsessive thoughts with something else. Plan what you will think about when the obsessive thoughts begin. It starts when the nurse puts on that elastic band and it involves kittens and puppies and meadows and flowers and Bambi and Disneyworld. I’ve practiced that thought plan so many times in various phlebotomists’ chairs that now, any time I smell rubbing alcohol…Disneyworld! If you’re falling for “this guy,” you have to replace not just the thoughts about him with other thoughts; you have to replace him with other things. Bring something else bright and happy and meaningful into your life – otherwise, you might end up bringing “this guy” in instead. ) She says, “You cannot make yourself feel something that you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” This quote goes well with the Jewish philosophical stance that we are given the reward for intending to do a good deed, even if the performance of that deed was thwarted, but we are not punished for a bad deed we intended to do but was derailed. All the Torah expects of us is to do the right thing, despite our inner thoughts and desires.

Ross Mechanic is a senior at the University of Pennsylvania.

I would never consider going out with him because he is not Jewish but I can’t get him out of my mind.

Telling Mark Messner, “Thank you so much, but I decline your lovely invitation,” was one of the hardest things I had ever done.

Some of the stuff that we do would not be considered normal in "the real world," aka around non-Jews. For some reason, our hair seems to be a lot frizzier than everyone else's.

If you're gonna date one of us, there are some things that you will definitely have to get used to. I make the best matzo ball soup ever, but I'm not trying to cook for other people. We are not strangers to every type of chemical straightening on the planet.