Dating your step sibling

21 Nov

But sibling envy in adulthood is a stagnant, secretive emotion that finds its insidious expression in anger and Schadenfreude.‘There’s always going to be a little bit of jealousy between siblings, which is a normal part of human nature, but when that turns into envy it brings out the absolute worst in people,’ says Karen Doherty, a mother of four and co-author of the new book Sibling Rivalry: Seven Simple Solutions.

‘Sibling envy is like a festering wound and it sours our relationships to the point where we can’t bear the idea of our siblings being successful, or even happy, and instead take pleasure in their failures.’Zoe, 38, admits that she can barely look her elder sister in the eye sometimes, such is the depth of the resentment she feels.

Such was my fury last week that I snatched up a photo of us three siblings from the windowsill and hurled it across the room. Far from being confined to the annals of history, maiden aunts are on the rise.

As more women leave it too late to have children (one in five are childless at 45) or choose not to marry (30 per cent live alone), they bear the brunt of any (unwelcome) elderly parent duties.

Having only exchanged brief, common courtesies via phone with my guy’s ex, I can say that it is necessary for you to be cordial in this situation, because you’ll be interacting with her child as well. Seeing a man with a child does give an inclination of the type of father he makes, and females – me included – tend to look for that particular quality when choosing our mates.

In my case, we haven’t really had any tension thus far. there are many people out there who have a child with their ex. Coming to terms with it depends on what the single (and childless) individual is willing to accept, all in the name of love and finding ‘the one’. Possessing the ideal qualities is what would make the final deal in him becoming a potential husband.

Or little girls, eyes shining with eagerness to outsmart one another in the classroom, guilelessly striving to please their parents at home.

The very phrase conjures up nostalgic images of ruddy-cheeked boys, straining to beat each other at tree climbing or Ludo.

She didn't think her finger was broken because she could still bend it.

As I sat with my closest girlfriends on our routine girls’ night out (GNO) one Saturday evening, the suspense at the table didn’t go unnoticed.

Prior to our meeting, I had mentioned that I had some news to share.

But spool forward 25 years and very often that competitiveness has crystalised into an emotion that is much less healthy and much more shameful – sibling envy.

It’s bad enough being second best to your schoolmate at sports as a 13-year-old; how much worse to feel completely eclipsed as a 33-year-old by your brother’s high-flying career or your sister’s perfect partner?