Dating guide for guys

22 Aug

Summer of 1998, I exited a Target store with a guy I was seeing at the time.“Hey, come over here and talk to me,” a guy said standing with a group of friends. As I prepare for a Summer stint across the pond, I thought I'd repost this lovely piece written exclusively for The Creamin My by my favorite New Zealander, not to confused with Zoolander, Jim O'Don...To them it is the sweetest word in any language Never feign affection.This is cruel and deceitful and could lead to problems If this is a first date enquire delicately to elicit information about likes and dislikes; values and expectations; interests, dreams and aspirations At each subsequent date widen the field of your enquiry in a casual conversational manner while also imparting more information about yourself Avoid bragging and talking too much about anything, especially yourself Turn the conversation around to get your date’s views and contribution to the subject Keep the conversation light and try to have fun together Use humour, but don't overdo it Keep it clean Don’t lie to your date Ask before you smoke Non-smokers sometimes cannot abide smokers breath or are allergic to cigarette smoke Definitely don’t smoke during the meal It is bad etiquette to enforce your own rights over the comfort of others.STEP ONE: Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: the mall, the library, or Pinkberry. If, by the end of the night, she giggles into her napkin/hand fan, you've got yourself a second date.When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? Us girls all like to pretend that we're your first Far East foray.

So, as her white, Jewish (80% of the time), totally-secure-and-normal boyfriend, you better be prepared for when your girlfriend mistakes "soup or salad" for "super salad." And since Asians have eyes like gravy boats, her crying jags are bound to extend late into the night. STEP FOUR: Locking it Down If you've made it this far, then you know all the dirty secrets of dating an Asian girl. You know we pretend to love drinking, even though we turn into full-blown red-faced injuns when we do. (According to my mom, the tradition stems from the groom's family giving the bride's family a cow in exchange for her.) So, if you're going to marry an Asian, get ready to empty your pockets. Of course, because of this, my parents want me to marry a Chinese guy and my brother to marry a white girl.

A “yes” won’t always be guaranteed in the process, because there are there are several factors that affect the girl’s decision.

In any setting she looks for the social value in a man.

Being stoned or wasted only gets a laugh from your yobbo mates at your expense Act like a lady or gentleman. It must come from the heart Be that way during your first date right until your last and see what a difference it will make to you, your date's and your life Do not expect your prospect to be available for a date at short notice Ask a few days in advance of the proposed date Set a meeting time and if possible an ending time If the person cannot or will not be available for a date at the second request – they are not interested Don’t push the issue.

Move on Guys usually initiate the first date or two (it is OK for the girl to initiate it if they are already good friends) after that either may do so Whoever initiates it – plan to have at least one alternative place to go to or of what to do Give the other person time to think about it and perhaps come up with other options Discuss it with dignity.