Dating for fat old guys

14 Aug

If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.

I don't mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman -- but I don't need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself. " It's announced as if it's supposed to reassure me that they aren't going to take one look at me naked and run, I think? Or maybe it's meant to suggest some kink; like to let me know that he wants to feed me cakes and watch me weigh myself? If you care more about my weight than I do, we're going to have a problem. "You're not the kind of lazy, stupid, disgusting, [insert sizeist insult here] slob who I expect fat people to be," is not a compliment.

Dudes tend to assume that I haven't dated a lot in my life -- or the opposite, that I'm always up for casual sex because I'm desperate for attention.

They often come into a relationship believing that my past partners have been abusive or unfaithful, or that my current partner isn't interested in sex and that's why we're poly.

And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.

And yet even when the number of people who are considered overweight form the majority of the population, obesity is in many ways one of the remaining acceptable prejudices.

There's a pretty popular thread going on about whether men are attracted to fat women. I definitely am attracted to a bigger man - but it has to be a certain kind of fat (and they have to be tall, too). I've come too far to enter in a relationship where the guy obviously is eating too much/drinking too much/ not exercising enough.Not like scary bodybuilder muscles, but great definition and strong arms/back.I guess I agree with the previous poster and the only fat I can really tolerate and still find attractive is a little belly fat as long as it's minimal!A lot of fat women have -- the ACE scores study suggest that at least some cases of obesity are biologically related to childhood trauma -- but I don't need you to psychoanalyze me, to explain to me why I'm fat, or to try and "fix" me somehow. I got over guys who wanted to sleep with me but weren't willing to be seen in public with me a long time ago.Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.